Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”…. (John 11:37).
Why do we question Jesus? It is because we cannot see the whole picture of life when He holds it all in the palm of His hand. I remember as a child, my parents would tell me many things. Things I didn’t understand. Things I couldn’t see out of my own limited perspective and immaturity. Sometimes I would bicker with my parents over the things I wanted to have happened in my life. I wanted immediate results. I wanted to see things change in my way and in my timing.
Some of us live with relationships that are unresolved. We’ve done everything we can, but still, we are not received. We want things to be fixed now and in our way, but truly, we cannot change a heart, only God can. Others of us need a financial change in the immediate moment. We may want children and not understand why God has not blessed us with them as we struggle with infertility. We want, but we do not have, so our hearts begin to tether themselves to our discontentment instead of our maker. Whenever our hearts become tethered to our wants, our vision becomes limited by our circumstances.
The tragedy comes when we are so bogged down by our pain that we cannot see what Jesus holds in His hand for us. Have you ever thought that maybe Jesus wants to gift us with His grace, but our vision is so limited by our wants that we cannot receive it? We treat Jesus just like others have treated us. Sadly, we have not been received in the way we would expect, so we do not receive Jesus either, because He does not come to fill our expectations. He comes, instead, to make us new. This often requires a dying to self and honest reflection of our motivations.
In my own heart, I often feel like I have a hard time receiving from Jesus when I want something changed now. I believe one of the greatest gifts we have as Christians is not to have Jesus wave the magic wand and fix our problems, but, instead to receive the gift of His grace. His beautiful, life-changing grace that transforms our hearts slowly, over time as we submit to His love. As we submit, the slow process of the reshaping of our hearts changes our demands. We receive from His hand, because, finally, we have begun to understand His heart.
Father, I surrender. I do not have all I want, but certainly, I have your grace. I have all that I need. Thank you for extending your vision to me. I want to see your beauty and be led by your mercy. Lord Jesus, transform me. I need a new heart, found only in your love. In Jesus name, Amen.