When I’m Drowning and Don’t Like What God is Doing

he drew me out of deep waters…. (Psalm 18:16).
Before I came to know Jesus my greatest concern was myself. I would splash around in a pool of my own needs, wants and desires- drowning in them. Unable to see the needs of others, because I was so focused on myself. Sometimes, I still live in those waters. My selfish heart tries to sneak in and take hold of the new woman that I am in Christ. Attempting to steal the freedom that I have in being a child of God.
If we truly understood the gravity of what God has pulled us out of, we would be overwhelmed with gratitude. The problem is that sometimes we try to take God with us into our own deep waters, wanting Him to rescue us in the way we best see fit. We’re screaming at Him to bring the life preserver in the way we want it, and not thanking Him for the fact that He has rescued us from all sin through the finished work of Jesus. Oh, the magnitude of what Christ has done should shut our mouths from our self-centered demands, but we still act as though God owes us something for our good, pious behavior.
The last time I was drowning, I don’t remember being able to help myself or thank myself once I was rescued. Truly, a heart that is turned towards praise can take what God has given them and rejoice. Their heart can be glad because their maker has given them new life, and removed the burden of sin from their lives.
He has set my heart in a spacious place where He has proven Himself to be a great provider and a mighty God. The problem is that I keep placing expectations on God to do for me what I wish. God does not bow to our bidding, He simply asks us to wait upon Him and receive His good gifts.
If I could be quite honest, sometimes my faith falls into the hands of people and not God. I spend far too much time thinking about how people will respond. Instead of believing in faith that God is in control and that He can work through the hearts of human people. For truly, He can do all things.
Peter walked on water because He saw His rabbi doing it and wanting to be just like Him, he too ventured out on the waters and into faith. The shore feels good. It feels safe, but faith requires us to trust God out on the waters. He will not let us drown there. As we give Him our praise and our devotion He gives us power from on high through the Holy Spirit to live according to His love. We’re no longer drowning, but instead, we’re walking on water, pointing others to the life-changing, sustaining power of the risen Christ that lives inside.
Abba, you are so good. Sometimes, my eyes turn away from you and onto people. Forgive me for how easily I forget about your majesty. Forgive me for neglecting to praise you and turning my thoughts towards what you haven’t provided for me instead. I long to be like you. Make me like you, I pray, in Jesus name, Amen.

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