Sex: One of God’s Tools to Prune Our Selfish Hearts

Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well…. (Proverbs 5:15).
Yesterday, during Sunday school, I said to the students, “Imagine you just bought a brand new car. It’s absolutely perfect and it’s yours. It’s the car of your dreams, but there’s this person that keeps coming over to your house, uninvited, taking the keys of your car without asking and taking it for a drive whenever they please.” Of course, the young men in class thought this was a terrible thing.
I said to them, “Someday God will bless us with a spouse and after we have made a covenant with that person to love, cherish, honor, and respect them for life we have now earned the right to enjoy a sexual union with them. I said, “Some of us are driving a car that someday will belong to someone else, and we have no business driving it. That person does not belong to us sexually, but we act as though we can use them whenever we please without making a covenantal commitment with them to love, cherish and honor them until death do us part.”
In a sex-saturated culture abstinence until marriage doesn’t make much sense when it seems like there are no consequences for teens and adults engaging in sexual activity outside of marriage. Yet, we cannot escape experiencing consequences for taking something that isn’t ours.
I said to the students, “Sex, outside of marriage only uses that person as an object to feed your own selfishness. It requires no real commitment to love and care for that person it times of difficulty. Life is about learning how to let go of your own selfishness to serve other people.”
Maybe what sex is meant for is something so much deeper than just pleasure and babies. Maybe its meant for the pruning of our own selfish hearts. Whenever we remove the marriage covenant from our sexual activity we only feed our selfishness.
Every area and aspect of our life, whether it be sex, work, children, finances or things are all things that God has given us as a gift. Yet, we can very easily, by default use those good gifts as buffets to feed our own selfish hearts. When we push our chairs away from the table to start serving someone else, our selfishness starts to die and we start to live in the blessing of God’s provision and abundance.
If you’re dissatisfied with something in your life, check your heart. What I have found is that when I am dissatisfied with something or someone, what is tied with to it is rarely a holy discontentment, but instead a negative, selfish attitude. Until we find ourselves fully in the Lord Jesus, we will never be able to give ourselves fully to another. We will always be looking for a quick fix, whether it be sex, food, fantasy or whatever we choose. We will never find satisfaction until we learn to seek to serve someone else’s needs above our own.
Lord, heal us. We are such selfish people. I know that I am. I am constantly dealing with a negative attitude that I have to die too. Sometimes I allow that negative attitude to run my thoughts, please forgive me. I want to live your freedom. God, please redeem sex in our culture. Protect this generation from messages that lead them down paths of destruction. Bless their future marriages, in Jesus name, Amen.

2 thoughts on “Sex: One of God’s Tools to Prune Our Selfish Hearts

  1. Heather, nicely done! This line is precious: “When we push our chairs away from the table to start serving someone else, our selfishness starts to die and we start to live in the blessing of God’s provision and abundance.” Nice reminder that when we are dissatisfied with something/someone, we need to check our own hearts. I know that my dissatisfaction stems from my selfishness. Thank you for your sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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