to the place he had prepared for it…(1 Chronicles 15:3).
There are days when my mind enters into the room of all my accusers. The place where people have hurt me with their words or actions. The place where, if I am not careful, their words will start to define me and carry me into places of discouragement, doubt, and unbelief.
It is true that we can forgive someone, but the hurt of what has happened carries on with us as we continue to grow and heal. Maybe some words were never said, but actions spoke louder than words and now here we are once again, back in the room. The room where we’re not good enough. The room where we can’t seem to do anything right.
This room has been orchestrated by pure forces of evil who wish only to kill, steal and destroy the good work of healing, restoring and redemption God wants to do in our lives.
A lot of people are trying to mask pain, so they cover it with pride and accomplishments. They enter into the room of their accusers too and so in an attempt to transcend it, they lower others to elevate themselves.
Maybe you’ve been there too, when, out of your pain you spoke a word or did something that was hurtful to someone else. I have found, at least for me, when I have hurt others, its because I came in thinking I had all the right answers. I didn’t consider that maybe I was simply just supposed to listen and understand their pain instead of dismissing it so I could go on with my busy life.
Pride is a terrible quality to nurture. Yet, I have held pride as a comfort in my own heart. A jewel of my own fashioning in the room of my own destructive thoughts. With the hopes of masking something in my heart or maybe even someone that I hurt. I start to play the thoughts over and over again in my head of how they hurt me, so I see little need to consider the ways in which I fell short. Oh, how foolish I have been in my own heart to not consider the depth of my own sin before others!
God has a place for our hearts and minds to go. It is a place well prepared for us. A place full of mercy and grace. A place where we can release our pain and our need for control. A place where we don’t have to keep going back to our pain or our need for justice because we can trust the one who is just. The one who is good. The one who wants to care for us in the places of our own need. It’s in this place, of God’s rest and delight that we can, indeed, pray for those who have persecuted us. We can bless them from our hearts because we have learned the joy of releasing them to the Lord Jesus. Not with the hopes of their destruction, but with the hopes of their own personal restoration.
Lord, I let it all go. The hurt, the pain, the disapproval. I release every wound to you. Every spoken or unspoken word and I speak blessing over those who have hurt me. Lord, please also forgive me for how I have hurt others. I am so sorry for the things I did out of my own immaturity and pride. Please God, give me the courage to go and ask for forgiveness if I need to. Give me the favor as I go and pour out your grace upon me, in Jesus name, Amen.