I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!….(Mark 9:24).
I have closed part of my heart off. I know it. I can feel it. Especially now that faith is knocking. I feel internal walls of protection shoot up to keep faith out because quite honestly, practicing faith on this one puts me in a vulnerable place only to possibly get hurt again.
Yet, faith keeps knocking, keeps asking to come in and lead my life down what to me, seems like an impossible path. A path that requires me to put aside all unbelief and trust in a mighty God who moves mountains, splits the sea and raises the dead. I know He’s capable of great and mighty things, but my hesitancy comes from a place of fear. I’m afraid that if I let my walls down and allow faith to come in and things don’t go as I hope then really, in the end, I’ll just be hurt once more.
Faith is risky, isn’t it? It requires us to put down all of our own past experiences, or present pain to believe against all odds and side with the King of Glory. I hear my heart saying to the Lord, “I believe, help my unbelief!” I believe God honors that prayer and with each moment, as we seek Him, He tears down those walls within our hearts that we’ve put up to try and protect ourselves from being hurt once again.
The crazy thing is, I hear another voice, saying, “don’t let faith in!” I know that’s only the enemy keeping me from seeing and experiencing the greatest of God in the places of my life that are being redeemed by His hand. So today, I’ll choose to walk in faith, even when my heart tells me not to. Today, I’ll trust in the Savior’s love to melt my stubborn heart as I surrender it to His love.
Lord, I know that you’re knocking. Please forgive me for my stubbornness. Forgive me for my lack of faith. I know that you are a mighty God, even for me. Today, I open up the closed part of my heart to your healing love. I can thank you that no matter what happens even if its a no once more, you are such a good and loving God to me, in Jesus name, Amen.