Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought….(Rom 12:3)
The Lord is taking me into a place in my life that requires deep humility. The kind of humility that reveals hidden insecurities, past wounds, and fears. It’s the kind of humility I’d rather not deal with because of the baggage that’s attached to it.
The truth is though, as I have been seeking the Lord, the one thing that I do hear from Him is, “Heather, this humbling is for your good because it’s going to help you grow.”
But you see, this path of humility requires me to deal with some hidden insecurity, which actually is really just pride in my heart. After all, pride is what we use to cover up our insecurities, so we’ll put up walls and get easily offended if anyone in some way shape or form rocks our boat of insecurity and unearths what lies beneath within our hearts and minds.
Sometimes I get this picture of myself of this grandiose, important person. I’ll play my accomplishments on repeat, feeling as though I must certainly be someone of great importance. I mean, look how the Lord used me. I must really be something of value I’ll think to myself.
It’s hard for me to think that I’m not a 10 out of 10 in certain areas of my life. When that area of insecurity and pride starts to get pressed I often feel like a certain part of me crumbles under the weight of other people’s opinions. Obviously, the fact that I have such an unhealthy response to these things simply reveals my further need for growth and transformation.
Therefore, beloved, do not think that having your insecurities pressed is a bad thing. Lean into it, humble yourself and let God change you through it. All of it, dear friend, is for your good and growth in God’s kingdom.
Father, I am no one special, but something I think far too much of myself. My pride gets in the way of my freedom. Please God, help me to not be so into myself. I want to grow in you. Help me now to take those steps, by your grace, in Jesus name, Amen.